Why She Likes Funny Guys

Across all languages, cultures and beliefs within humans, the 3 common ways of communicating are laughing, crying and screaming. These are innate systems in humans across all cultures that we are biologically born with. As babies, we don’t need to be taught these things because we are already equipped with the know-how to do so, along with the functions of these actions.

Each set of these actions mean much more than you think. For example:

Screaming

The purpose of screaming (a high pitched scream) is to indicate danger and fear. In the past, a scream heard coming from a nearby forest would mean immediate danger to the tribe. Think of an alarm going off, this is to indicate that there is danger nearby and one must be on high alert. This could also be a ‘last stand’ by the victim to indicate to her peers to seek for her as she might be killed. The direction of the scream also helps the tribe to identify the direction of the threat.

Now think about a time when you heard a high pitched scream. Or imagine hearing it from a horror movie. It makes your heart beat faster, you might even break into cold sweat right? Even if it is in a controlled environment such as a movie theatre where you are already aware of what’s to come. These are the biological wirings in our bodies to prepare us for threat and battle.

Crying

The purpose of crying is to indicate loss, or the lack of ability to remedy a situation and to seek help. Baby mammals cry to indicate that they require aid. That is why we always show sympathy towards mammals crying. When an animal knows they are going to be slaughtered or killed, tears will flow. This is an attempt to seek aid, knowing that they are unable to fend for themselves. Experiments have shown that human babies rarely cry in the absence of their parents. When a baby falls with people around, they tend to cry. But when a baby falls in the absence of their parents, they tend to get up and carry on with their lives.

Crying is usually activated when there is a feeling of helplessness. When external aid is required either physically or psychologically. Think of a time when you see somebody break a bone, get a severe cut, or lose a loved one. Crying occurs when some form of external aid is required whereby the ‘cry-er’ has no power to resolve the situation by themselves.

Crying also works as a mood-regulating protocol. Whereby we hear people ‘feel better’ after crying. This is because crying releases stress and activates the parasympathetic nervous system and restores the body to a state of balance.

Laughing

The main subject of our topic – laughter. Laughter happens, ironically, not in the presence of something funny. Have you ever experienced a time whereby you’ve witnessed a person tell a joke and nobody laughed, but when the same joke is told by another person it sparked a lot of laughter in the room? Or when a person in a group whom you secretly dislike tells a joke to a group of people (you included) but everyone except you found the joke funny?

It is said that people of higher social status tell more jokes than people of lower social status. Now looking back at the 2 scenarios, is it true that the person who got the room laughing had a better position up the social ladder? And is it really that the joke was not funny, or was it the idea of disapproval prevented you from finding the joke funny?

Now imagine heading towards a bar or social scene whereby you can hear both male and female laughter before entering the venue. What would your perception of the location be? Would it be more of a safe space, a place whereby you know you would join them with laughing? What if the moment you had stepped into the location, all the laughter stopped and all the eyes in the room peered in your direction. What would your feelings be then?

Laughter is generally concluded to be an indication of ‘this is a safe space’, ‘a place to loosen up’ and ‘a space to play’. Laughter from a group is generally a by-product of healthy social bonding. Laughter does not present itself when threat, danger or enemies are present. This is in contrast to hearing screams or crying whereby our fight-or-flight response is diminished.

The body also releases endorphins in the brain which causes us to feel happy and it can be addictive. This is why we all love to laugh and seek to find people around us who are able to make us laugh. As social value is also a prerequisite for allowing us to laugh, a person who is capable of making others laugh has already been pre-approved by others.

We can say these are manipulation tools, the awareness of this gives us a high leverage in knowing what to look out for and how we can ‘engineer’ situations. Movie directors have been doing this for decades in their films. From having talents ‘cry on demand’ to evoke empathy, using screams in their shows to evoke fear, using slapstick humor to inject humor or even using pre-recorded laughs in sit-coms to stimulate laughter from viewers to influence them into believing that the joke is funnier than what it is.

In the 21st century we have reached a point of pleasure, whereby we understand laughter releases endorphins (happy chemicals in the brain), which is why we like hanging out with people who are able to stimulate these happy chemicals within us. I mean, who doesn’t like to be around people who are fun and makes us laugh.

For us, having a person laugh in our presence or laughing at ‘our jokes’ is more of an indication that we are on the ‘right track’ more than the end goal. The true test is to position ourselves socially well, THEN providing others around us with a safe and fun place whereby jokes can fly and everyone is at ease to ‘be themselves’.

Therefore, if a woman or people around you are laughing, it is an indication that these elements are already in play.

– People are at ease
– She can be herself
– Bonding mechanism activated
– It is a safe space

For a guy, it is common to hear the phrase ‘I like guys who make me laugh’. It is more of an indication that she wants a man who can make her feel safe and at ease with herself. Healthy banter may also be present, which indicates a safe space which allows for bonding.

Going around and telling jokes is not the ‘right’ way of evoking laughter. Evoking laughter is more about being a fun, safe and socially savvy person who looks after the welfare of the group rather than just being a jester. A jester or a ‘joker’ is more of a reciter-of-jokes than a socially inclined person. Know that if you fail the pre-screening process of the people around you, there will be no laughs regardless how good the punch line or delivery of the joke is. This is why some people can go about their day making heaps of people laugh with minimum effort and that too with low-quality jokes.

If this sounds interesting to you and want someone who will sit down with you one-on-one to guide you for your next date so that you know what kind of things work best in different scenarios, contact CGull today! We offer coaching sessions to help singles find their own personal style so they know how best to approach others in all kinds of situations. Contact us today to improve self-esteem and confidence during dating so that all future dates go better than before.