The importance of Status

Status is an important element in being human. Since a millenia ago, status has played a major role in our species. In tribal days, it determined who was the chieftain, whose opinions mattered, who was allowed to mate with who and who was meant to die. In recent civilisations, status was more skewed towards positions of power or wealth. We see kings, barons and chancellors as people of high wealth and political power, which means they had status. 

But that begs the question, “if all wealth and power were stripped from everyone, what justified status?”. We see this in some mammal species, from chimps, wolves and dogs. Species with a pecking order or some form of pattern of social organization (humans too) are able to detect levels of social status among one another. This order is important to the effective function of the pack as it determines leadership, division of labor and mating priorities . This was important for the survival of the group, whereby survival was determined by the trustability of the members of the group.

Imagine going into a social gathering of about 50 people. Where everyone knows everyone, the group is having fun and socialising – and you know nobody. How would you feel if making your way to the center of the crowd as everyone who notices you would look in your direction, keep silent and stare? Their intention could be to figure out who you are, where you come from or if you were a threat or not. Naturally, a member of the group might confront you to ask for your intentions in that locale. This is to get a direct answer of your intent, the level of threat and if you are friend or foe.

We exercise our position in a social group in many ways. For example, in a social setting, we might feel the pressure of ‘laughing at’ another person because the group is doing so. The idea of ‘laughing at’ someone is similar to exhiling the person from the tribe or casting them out of the group. We might even be pressured to do so even if we had no negative opinion of this particular person, but standing up for this person could land us in exile along with them. 

On the flip side, laughing ‘with’ a person after they have told a joke is giving them social acceptance and letting them acknowledge your support for them. This is why you will never laugh at a good joke made by a person you dislike. And still have the chance of laughing at the same joke made by another person whom you approve of. The idea here is that it is not that the joke is funny – but rather your social approval of the person (their status). For more information about laughter, you can read it from our post about ‘why women like funny guys’.

As guys, we have learnt that status would reward us with female choice and the ‘alpha male’ is the one with the biggest muscle that can beat up any incoming foe. And if we don’t have the biggest muscle, we will be the wealthiest and most capable to prove our status. Then with that, we will be accepted by the opposite gender.

In fact, we go on dates preaching how much money we have, the job we are in or sending them around in our big cars. It is vitally important to show them how important we are outside of the date and if only they can see our value in our everyday lives. And if we are unable to show them our status during the date, we will tell them. 

But today, how often have we seen that it is not the strongest or richest in the group that held the highest social status? Having status is more about what is going on internally that manifests externally, instead of using external features such as wealth and power to signify status. Think about how a person with real internal status would walk, talk and present themselves. It is this behaviour that radiates power to the people around them.

If this sounds interesting to you and want someone who will sit down with you one-on-one to guide you for your next date so that you know what kind of things work best in different scenarios, contact CGull today! We offer coaching sessions to help singles find their own personal style so they know how best to approach others in all kinds of situations. Contact us today to improve self-esteem and confidence during dating so that all future dates go better than before.