It’s the age of texting. Been so for a while. Phone calls are slowly being phased out, even for official communication. People are tap tapping their way all day on their phones, social media chat boxes, dating platforms. Some to send a grocery or meeting reminder, but many to meet, greet, and get to know each other better by flirting before contemplating dating.
In the time of paper letters, and even email, there used to be etiquette of mailing. You’ll be surprised to know that there is one for texting too. It’s just not that well spelt out. We will try to explain the whats, hows and whys of that here, which should answer common questions like “What to write next?”, “How long should I wait before replying to sound just the right amount of eager?” and so on.
Advice number one: Use proper grammar, spelling and punctuations unless you intentionally don’t want to. If there is a misspelt word, let it be intended, like, say in a pun, instead of being an error. Surprising statistics show, that even among millennials, women are significantly more attracted to the guy who ends his text with a full stop after writing a complete sentence! This goes to show that women still look for a certain level of education and sophistication in men. They don’t really fall for cave man tactics. So, use available online grammar checking tools instead of Neanderthal ones! That doesn’t mean you stay away from trending chat language abbreviations either. “Laughing out loud” instead of “LOL” is definitely not going to get you anywhere good.
Advice number two: When you are beginning to know someone, end your text with an open-ended question. Leave the ball in her court to follow up. The idea is not to give her the chance to reply with a single word. That will leave you with the task of thinking of what to say next (though you can always resort to your personal set of canned questions for that), give you added insight about whether she is really interested in continuing the interaction, give you any idea about the kind of person she is. “What did you have for dinner?” may not amount to much but “What are your thoughts on the Universe?” could throw up philosophical, humorous or other interesting sides to her character which you could then use to evaluate the person and whether you want to date her.
Advice number three: Don’t spam. Write what you want as a single text. Use paragraph breaks if necessary. Instead of sending each sentence as separate text that pings throughout her meeting, and she puts you on silent. Maybe for good!
Advice number four: Stick to your personality. In following text etiquette, don’t forget who you are yourself. Write things you mean and believe in. Else she will probably be attracted to the person you are not, and your first date with her is going to be your last.
Advice number five: Don’t hesitate to take time out. Let her know you are stepping out for a swim and will connect later. That will give her a sense of comfortable space and she will know that you are okay with her having a life of her own too. So, no, don’t hang on to the wait for replies. Space the texts out at the pace of your normal life. It is okay to have a life or be too busy to respond immediately. That will put her at ease too. Getting comfortable with each other really is where we are getting to ultimately, aren’t we?
In short, feel free to reach out if you want to up your texting-for-dating game till it comes naturally to you.