The Conversation Is Not the Point
Most men try to be a conversationalist by talking more. The real move is upstream: read the room, hold its tempo, lead what it feels. The talking is the smallest part.
Insights
Older essays.
Page 2 of 6. The corpus going back, sorted newest first.
Published
Older essays.
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How a Story Earns Its Payoff
Most men think storytelling is having something interesting to tell. The harder skill is knowing what to leave in, what to leave out, and where the punchline has to land.
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Selling Yourself Right
You have been selling your whole life without naming it. What changes when the product is you, and how to do it without slipping into performance.
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What Women Look For In ‘Porn’
What women respond to is not the mirror image of what men respond to. The elements involved, and why the signal gets read backwards so often.
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Earning Your Confidence
Confidence is not given, it is earned. And confidence can not be faked. It is an attribute whether you have it or not.
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Why having different personas is important
We all have different personas and social masks that we swap between on a daily basis, and it is catered to the objective and audience we are working with.
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Why we fear rejection and why it hurts us
The body responds before you have processed anything. Why rejection hurts as much as it does, and what actually reduces the cost of asking.
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The best pictures for your dating profile
A profile has to hold a conversation before you have said a word. Which photographs manage that, which quietly kill it, and how many you need.
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Why PickUp Lines do not matter
The debate is old and the professionals have been consistent about it. Why the line barely registers, and what she is assessing instead of it.
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The importance of Status
Status is not the biggest man in the room, and reading it that way costs men years. What it actually measures, and how it gets earned.
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Why Men Dont Cry
The issue we face in modern society with unemotional men is the byproduct of said society not giving men the license to feel.
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5 Things Girls Want Guys to Do on a First Date
Five things that are basic, rarely done, and immediately noticed when they are missing. None of them depend on the venue or on your budget.
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On doing the 'right thing' during dates
Be a man arrives constantly and explains nothing. What the right thing on a date actually consists of, stated plainly enough to act on.
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Why She Likes Funny Guys
Laughing, crying and screaming are innate across every culture. What that says about humour, why it reads as capability, and why it cannot be faked.
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Manhood Initiations - A Man's Rite of Passage
Nearly every culture marked the passage from boy to man, and ours quietly stopped. What the ritual was doing, and what its absence leaves behind.
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Men - You have to love yourself first
We want to be loved and rarely give anyone a fair chance to like us. Where that starts, why it persists, and what actually shifts it.
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Giving life to your conversations with Women
The one-on-one conversation used to be most of a relationship, and the skill has gone quiet in a lot of men. How to get it back into working order.
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How you can increase your Attraction Score on Dates
Most couples knew each other before anything happened. Why familiarity does so much of the work, and how to arrange for it instead of fighting it.
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Conversational Ratios - How Much effort do we put into a conversation
Talk-time between two people is a measurement, not a courtesy. What the ideal ratio looks like, and what yours says about the interest in the room.
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Controlling the Conversation while Dating
Leading a conversation is not taking it over. How to set the direction of a date while she does most of the talking and neither of you notices the steering.
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The Wingman, or Wingwoman
A wingman is not there to talk you up, and doing that makes things worse. What the role is really for, how to brief one, and how to be one.
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Charisma – The mystery word
Everyone recognises charisma and almost nobody can define it. A working definition, the components it breaks into, and which of them respond to practice.
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Attraction can be switched on
Attraction is something that Nature switches on for you when you reach puberty. But it's only that one time that Nature does it for you. After that, switching it off or on again is in your hand.
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How to get good socially
Social competence is trained, not issued at birth. How to build it on purpose, and what it changes in rooms that have nothing to do with dating.
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Being 'yourself'
Being yourself is fine advice until you notice it is not taking you anywhere. What the phrase was actually pointing at, and what to do once you see it.
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Abundance Mind-set - The preferred way of life
Understanding the concept of an abundance mind-set would be incomplete without the understanding of a scarcity mind-set...
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Stay confident before girls
It is basic nature for guys to try and impress girls. But it still needs confidence to take that step. There could be two probable reasons...
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Online Dating Consultants' Chill Guide to Balanced Dating
Apps reward volume and quietly punish the men who supply it. A slower approach to online dating in Singapore that still works six months in.
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Men's Guide for Sexy Clothing on First Date
A first date outfit is judged in seconds and remembered much longer. How to dress for the venue, the weather and the man actually wearing it.
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Top 7 Ideal First Date Tips From Dating Experts
Seven tips from people who do this for a living. What to plan, what to skip, and what she is reading while you worry about the wrong thing.