We all want to be loved by others. But at times we don’t give them a fair chance to even like us. This is because many of us don’t like ourselves in the first place. This negative perception regarding ourselves unknowingly projects onto others’ impressions of us. Which tilts the balance against us immediately.
So if you want others to love you, you need to get rid of the self-negativity and understand the importance of being positive about your own self. You need to learn to love yourself first.
Accept the idea that it is okay to love yourself first. The Eastern culture you have been brought up in has conditioned you otherwise. You need to overcome that. From birth you have mostly been valued in terms of your marks, your income, your career, your home, your car. Not in terms of the person you are. You want your date to like you and not your salary.
Take stock of your positive traits. Your positive mental and physical attributes. Your strengths. Give them their due importance. Feel empowered and proud to have them. Identify with them. These good attributes are who you are.
Take stock of your negative traits. Your weaknesses. In the way you carry, talk, behave, present yourself. Your body, you outlook also counts. Go over all of it honestly. And start working on them to ultimately either get rid of them from inside or turn them on their heads by persevering till they become your assets. Take good care of yourself till you can’t help liking who you are becoming. Work at it. Hit the gym if you need to. Shave every day until it becomes a habit. Practice talking politely. Whatever it takes, keep at it. And once you start believing in yourself, adopt the belief for good.
It’s not that you being able to take care of yourself is all that matters to women. But it definitely helps her to know you are a potential partner and not a child who she will have to take on the responsibility of fixing up. Modern women are looking for, among other things, men who know who they are, know how to take care of themselves.
But don’t be discouraged by the flamboyant over-the-top aspirational lifestyles that social media throws at you. That’s all for the camera. You don’t need to achieve that. You need to get real.
Just take it a step at a time. Maybe start this week by shaving before heading out. Next week get yourself some new clothes. Treat yourself to a spa or massage the week after that. Go out with close friends for a drink the next weekend. Do all of it with the conviction that you deserve it because you are worth it.
Loving yourself means dedicating time to yourself only to do things that you love. To care about your mental and physical health. Scheduling things in your calendar and filling your free time with activities that make you happy.
Without a thought of guilt. That is very very important.
When you really love yourself and are really guilt-free about it, it shows. Women will respect you more because they will respect the fact that you matter to yourself. They will first see that you are capable of taking care of yourself.
Whether you will be able to take care of a family and so on, may be the next thing she would want to find out.
But, at least you shall have passed the first test with ease!
So work on this win-win exercise. Where you end up being a better person who you love and who others can live with easily! This world could do with all the love and positivity it can get!