4 basic tips for your first date

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In today’s rushed world, everyone wants to have as much fun as they can, whenever they can afford to have it.

Going on a date is the time to do just that. Besides, the whole point of dating is deciding whether both of you want to meet again, and again. Why would she do that if it was no fun?

Emotions are infectious. So don’t hold back. Spread the fun vibes for her to catch!

But while having fun, here are 4 basic things to keep in mind.

1. Be on time
The last thing you want to do is start the date off with an already nervous lady waiting for you and not knowing what to do in the meantime.

2. Dress well
Don’t be ashamed to take tips from a lady-friend about how women actually like to see their men dressed. You will be surprised. For example, girls pay a lot of attention to shoes. Wear nice ones.

3. Mind your hair and hygiene
Brush your hair neatly, or make it carefully careless at best. Shave just before leaving home. She will want to know what you look like without any does-he-have-a-chin-under-the-beard guessing games. There will be time enough for games later. Also, brush your teeth before leaving. Carry a few breath mints, if required.

4. Let her talk about herself
So now you guys have met, greeted each other, and have ordered the coffee. Before the silence gets uncomfortable, and the smiles start straining, connect. Talk. But about what? Everybody loves to talk about themselves. Keeping that in mind, resist the temptation of bragging. Instead, ask about her. Let her do the talking while you guide her through it to keep it going.

If at a loss for how to start, you can ask her about things she feels passionately about, her hobbies, how she likes to spend her recreation time. By now you shall have gauged her bent of mind and can start forming questions. Maybe about her views on current affairs or the society, what books she likes to read, what movies she likes to watch. And so on. Basically, the idea is to get as much information about her as you can, while letting her enjoy the conversation, to decide whether there is anything in common and the date is worth pursuing.

Meanwhile, here’s a tip on how to steer this talk. Use the 80-20 rule. Use 20% of the time to ask questions and show interest. The rest of the 80%, keep quiet, listen and absorb.

Once you have a fair idea of what you can talk about, and one conversation has led to another, don’t lose grasp. There are some things you should not ask her on a first date unless you are sure you know what you are doing. Don’t ask her about her job. Don’t discourage it either, if she brings it up herself. Her home address is also none of your business, yet. Her education? No, don’t ask. If she is proud of it, she will tell you. Do not bring up controversial topics like religion, politics, taboo stuff. You don’t want to be on shaky grounds just for the sake of it.

Finally, some first-date farewell etiquette ‘do not do’ tips.

Dating isn’t a game of Dare. When you do talk about yourself, either when she asks you questions, or if the conversation leads back to you, remember that you are there to sell your character and your personality, not your job stability or your income. So keep it grounded. Don’t overdo the ‘manly stuff’. Don’t insist on paying the bill. Go dutch. You don’t want to give her the impression that you just bought her time from her. Don’t tell her to go home after having said your goodbyes. She knows where she will want to go from there. At most you can offer to drop her as per her convenience. Do not stalk her to find out where she lives, or where she went. Do not walk her to the door even if she does take a lift till home (she’ll be safe… Singapore is safe).

Ok, then. Are you ready? Feeling steadier? Go date!

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