Charisma – The mystery word

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Charisma is an often-used mystery word. While everyone has a general inkling about what it means, they will find it hard to define it. This is why, while people want to be charismatic, they do not know how to go about it. It is not something that can be taught. It is something to be realised.

But certain characteristics of charismatic people can be seen to be common. Let us elaborate on each.

  • A charismatic person comes across as a strong communicator. There is no hesitancy when he speaks or opines. Regardless of what he says, he talks with apparent conviction.
  • A charismatic person comes across as empathetic and relatable. One listens to him because he seems to have got it right. He does not preach. He talks familiarly, with understanding.
  • A charismatic person comes across as confident. Without being bossy, he ‘rules’ as if he earned it.
  • A charismatic person comes across as motivational. Empathy combined with confident communication is the stuff motivational speech is made of.
  • A charismatic person comes across as engaging and charming. Charisma has a positive effect on people.
  • A charismatic person comes across as optimistic. Someone who always feels that we are in a good state and the future has better things stored for us. People always look for hope. 

Think of some of the leaders of our times who are known for their charisma. Tony Robbins. Barack Obama. Martin Luther King. These people have moved the masses with their speeches and their charm. They all have each of the above characteristics.

Throughout history, charisma has inspired people to take actions. Charisma has been used to change minds. Charisma has started movements. Charisma has influenced religions. It has moved nations. It has started enduring cults.

But… let us not confuse being charismatic with being right or being ethical. One can be either of the two, without being the other. Being both is ideal. Being charismatic and wrong is dangerous. It will influence many to do wrong.

Charisma has a huge role to play in the dating scene, and if used to one’s advantage, can be a game changer.

In the dating scene today, most guys are trying to rationalise to the women why each is the most qualified candidate. The qualifications they put forth are things like their income, their car, their cushy job. What they do not understand is that if one is not a likeable person in some way, these qualifications will fall flat. These are important. But secondary. A woman will want to like a man first, whether he is genuine or not. Everything else follows.

In a perfect world, intelligence takes decisions. In the emotional dating world, logic has no place. Women usually don’t go for men for any specific reason, like a steady job. They go for those with charisma. Because charismatic people make them feel good about themselves. 

What women first look for in their partner is his ability to evoke emotions. This is immensely attractive to them. And clearly, a charismatic person immediately scores.

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