Remember 10 over years ago when the book “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” was all the rage? And one of the key elements that Robert Kiyosaki mentioned that contributed to his success was about learning to sell when he was younger?
And at the time, we had the whole MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) boom that was selling all kinds of healthcare products. Half of our friends, family or family of friends are into one or the other product. Everyone was basically claiming to be a ‘business owner’ and selling their brand of healthcare product to each other.
Of course peer-to-peer selling is one of the most common forms of selling. Some call this selling to your ‘warm market’, which is telling the people that are around you about a product or service. Of course when we look at the way brands ‘market’ or sell their products these days, it is drastically different from how they were done in the past. We have things like Social Media marketing and Ecommerce. But in a nutshell, it is mostly about telling as many people the following 3 things:
- How good the product is
- Social proof (Why everyone is doing it)
- Why they should try it.
Now think of the times you had recommended a movie or game to a friend. And you really wanted them to watch the movie or try out the game. Or maybe you were out with friends and needed to decide on a place to eat. Have you or your peers made a suggestion on a place nearby that had excellent food and the whole group went for it? Or your friend had a damaged keyboard at home, and he was ranting to you on how it is busted. And you suggested another brand for him to try out because the one he is using is not reliable. Isn’t this already selling the movie/game/restaurant or product?
We have been selling things to others our entire lives. It might not be as blatant as selling a product, service or our MLM business. But we have been educating our ‘warm market’ on how good the product is, why everyone is doing it and why they should try it too.
Now think of going for an interview for a job. What would you be wearing? What is your energy going to be like? What kinds of things would you say to get the interviewer like you? Then look at it this way – why are you doing all these things in the first place? Are you trying to ‘sell yourself’ to the interviewer?
One main drawback on why our culture might not be as strong in peer-to-peer sales is that we see sales as a ‘profession’ rather than a soft skill. Whereby we equate selling similar to other hard skills such as Engineering, Medicine or Carpentry. Whereas sales can really be deemed more like a soft skill, similar to communication skills and rapport building. We see this best said from Zig Ziglar below:
So this begs the question, is it that people don’t buy from us because they don’t trust us? Or is it that our communication skills are lacking therefore it generates the lack of trust in the first place? From a young age, we look to advance our professional hard skills and have disregarded our soft skills, let alone thinking about ‘selling’ as a soft skill. Claiming that we are no ‘sales person’, we groom only our professional skills or hard skills.
Relationships are like sales, whereby we are not selling a product or service but rather – selling ourselves. And this is the biggest sale in our lives! We are selling ourselves to a person with the possibility of them spending their whole lives with us!
Now, with that out of the way. We can look at where we start selling. Just like a marketing team in any business, we may attract the person online (Swiping our profile), engage the person in conversation, then bring them offline for the sale. We call this the marketing funnel.
Each of these phases are to be done well and sell ourselves right. Just like an interview, we want to put our best foot forward. Not fabricate a reality that is untrue, but rather pick out elements to show that represents ourselves in a positive light.
For our online profile, we can look at our post on profile pictures.
The pictures are the first thing a person sees online. So keep having a nice set of pictures there.
Then the bio.
Do note that as a general rule, it is best not to put yourself down in an attempt to sound funny. Self deprecating humor is really about reducing our status in hopes that the other person accepts us. This is a really bad strategy when starting off with an interaction. Some stand up comedians do that to get a laugh from the audience. That’s fine, he/she is not aiming to sleep with the audience. In your biography, it is important to paint yourself in a neutral or positive light, try to save all the kinks and quirks about yourself for the second date. It is okay to seem ‘human’ with our flaws and stuff, but having them told to another person works better in person rather than told online.
What kind of person are you when you meet the person for the first time on a date? We mentioned about ‘going for an interview’ earlier. This is the same thing, the way you dress, your hair, your tonality and energy levels are to be taken into account when you meet her. The irony is that she is also going into an interview with you as well.
As a general rule for selling yourself right would be as follows:
Be confident, but not arrogant: Confidence is attractive, but arrogance is not. Show that you’re comfortable in your own skin and that you have a positive self-image, but don’t come across as conceited or overly self-centered.
Show interest in her: People like to feel valued and heard. Ask her questions about herself, listen attentively to her answers, and show genuine interest in what she has to say.
Be honest: Don’t try to pretend to be someone you’re not or exaggerate your accomplishments. It’s important to be true to yourself and to let her see the real you.
Highlight your strengths: While you shouldn’t brag, it’s okay to highlight your positive attributes and accomplishments. This can help her get a better sense of who you are and what you have to offer.
Be respectful: Treat her with respect and courtesy throughout the date. This means being mindful of her boundaries, avoiding offensive or inappropriate language or behavior, and generally being a good listener and conversationalist.
Remember, the most important thing is to be yourself and to have fun. If the chemistry is there, the connection will happen naturally!